Therapy Sucks.

I started going to see a therapist once a week recently, and I think I am ready to quit already. I really went because I made a promise to my mom that I would and I thought it might help me work out some of my craziness without really highlighting my ed issues. BUT I found a cognitive behavioral therapist without even knowing it until this week and she is ALL about changing my behaviors. I want nothing to do with that. She is making me get weighed each week in her office and wants me to write down everything she eats. I was like HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO these are all things I do anyway and having you see them is just embarassing. I don't want to show her what I eat. It makes me want to restrict even more so she doesn't think I am too fat for treatment. I told her all of this and she was like, you are at a low weight, not dangerously low, but I am afraid you are going to relapse. I was like, thanks for telling me what I already knew. That's why I am here. Ughh. She is probably a good therapist because she is putting me in an uncomfortable place, but I want to work on my inner issues, I don't want to give up on ed again, because I AM relapsing and I want to. Ugh... I don't know what to do. I guess a part of me is scared to go back to the deep dark places I have been in the past. I might not be ready for the deepest parts of my mind to come back to me.